As humans, we tend to be very hard on ourselves; especially us women! We pick ourselves apart about almost everything. I know for me, I used to pick myself apart on a daily basis. That was a stupid thing to say Molly. Why did you just eat that Molly, you don't need to be eating that. You used to fit into these pants a few weeks ago, looks like you don't anymore. You get my point!
These thoughts won't ever go away, but we do have the power to control how we think about ourselves.
The biggest learning lesson that I've had this past year is that I need to have more compassion for myself. We tend to have compassion for others, but very rarely have compassion for ourselves. For example, let's say you totally messed up at work. What is your usual response? For me, I would tear myself apart for doing something so stupid. Then, feeling crappy, my confidence and self-esteem would take a dive. Then I would go around the rest of the day in a total slump, sometimes even turning to comfort foods to make me feel better. By the time I would crawl into bed, I was in self-loathing mode, feeling my absolute worst. If I had just had compassion for myself in the beginning when I made the boo boo, I wouldn't have spiraled into my emotions.
We are human, we are MEANT to make mistakes. We learn from those mistakes and we know what not to do, or what we can do better next time. Learning to have compassion for yourself in those moments will help you move past it and move forward. If not, you're most likely going to dwell on it for the day, or the next week or maybe even the next month!
Remember that what's done has been done. We can't go back in time and change we has happened. Did you eat a whole bag of potato chips and now you feel terrible about yourself? Did you forget to call your sister and tell her happy birthday? Whatever it may be, we can't change the past. If it's a situation that involves someone else, try and make things right! Apologize; show that person that you're sorry and you care about them. But remember to forgive yourself and start practicing compassion.
When we practice compassion towards ourselves, we can start feeling more empowered to take positive action.
With February here I want to take a minute to talk about Self-Love.
It’s what us girls at Motibela are constantly talking about. Especially how to cultivate it and keep it!
We know that you don’t wake up one morning and all of a sudden fall in love with yourself. We know that, like any relationship, it requires work. And Molly and I probably made it harder on ourselves than it needed to be, but hey we got here, didn’t we?!
There are days that we don’t look or feel our best. I ask you this, on those days that you are feeling less than [fill in the blank] what are you telling yourself about who you are as a person? What is your inner critic telling you? What’s the conversation between the two?
It took me years to change my way of thinking about who I am - on the outside as much as on the inside. And I’ll be honest, that old way of thinking cost me a lot. It cost me relationships, jobs, my health and most importantly my sense of self. I finally got to the point that I was so sick, anxious and depressed that I knew if I didn’t change the way that I cared for myself and the way I thought about myself I would die young.
Wow! Death. One of my biggest fears was leaving my daughter without a mother. I wanted her to know how to care for herself and love who she is, but how can she do that without me being her role model? I knew I owed that to her. To be the best woman I could be for her and for myself. We both deserve that.
Molly helped me get through a lot of those obstacles and was the reason I knew I had to work with her! Together we figured out what tools we needed to feel better as a woman, how to calm our inner critic, eat the foods that are right for our bodies and feel good in the skin we are in.
We’re not always perfect. We have our low days, but those aren’t as frequent as they were before and we don’t stay in them as long as we did before. We let ourselves experience those feelings for a bit and then we move on, because that’s what Motibela is about, putting our beauty into motion and we can’t do that if we’re wallowing in self doubt.
If you’re feeling stressed, over whelmed or are looking to cultivate a better relationship with yourself, let us know how we can help. We’d love to chat with you!
Oh and one more thing before I go… If you haven’t heard, we are running a February Love Thyself Challenge on Facebook. We are giving daily tips and tricks on how to help you love yourself a bit more!
We have an awesome prize at the end of the month and a great community of women that have joined. We’d love to see you there!
Cheers to putting your beauty into motion!